update coming up

hey guys! I just wanted to send a quick note before the long, detailed one.

I found out today that I have been accepted by OM USA, as well as OM Moldova, to go to Moldova, and join their forces.

For more information regarding OM see www.omusa.org

For more information about my personal trip, stay tuned...I'm going to update soon.

it is better to wait; better to trust; better to lean...on the Lord

wow..its been so long
since I've been here-
sorry about that.


I have much to tell. God has been working, though much of it remains to be seen on my part.
Let me begin by saying that the process of my application for returning to Moldova has been a longer procedure than I imagined. This coming Monday, I have scheduled a time to have a phone interview with OM, which is the next step. I don't know what will follow after that, but I am praying that things are able to move along a little faster after this.

Recent events in my life have included my little sister getting married-now a week ago, already! My part was making her wedding cake, which took about 4 days, but turned out splendidly, if I can say so. I would love to copy the idea for a future cake. I really saw God's strength and help right beside me as I put it all together. I don't recall any complications once I began baking and decorating! This is really uncommon for cakes, and you know what I mean if you have done something similar. There is always some kind of quirk. I was also getting over a bad cold as I was getting ready to make these cakes. (Don't worry, I was really careful about my germs!) The Lord really was with me. My sister Katie was a big help in transporting and assembling them at the reception as well.

Over all, the wedding was a huge success, when in the days previous, it seemed that there were a lot of loose ends. On top of it all, the best man-best friend to my brother in law-ended up giving his heart to Christ the day after the wedding! Many of my mom's family were able to make it in town from Missouri-it was really special to see them, especially my grandma, who may not be able to make this trip anymore, as a result of her failing health.

On a more serious note, I want to explain how I have been tested lately. I have had a short season where I began to lose sight of what God had called me to in Moldova. I struggled with the question of maybe I was not suppose to go back. Some personal issues have, of late, created a weakening of the desire to leave the country soon. I have prayed, and asked counsel of Godly friends and family, and after a few days of struggle, I realized that I should not be the one trying to change God's mind.


"I know, O LORD, that the way of man is not in himself, that it is not in man who walks to direct his steps"
Jer.10:23


If God wants to lead me in a different direction than how I believe He has spoken clearly to me, then He certainly has the right to do that..but it is up to Him. My heart wants to do His will, that's why there was such a struggle. I was stuck in the middle of what I wanted and what He wanted. I chose to plunge into His will. I decided to run head-long into what I felt He originally spoke to me. If my head gets stuck where He didn't intend, then He sure can pull me out. But, until I hear otherwise from Him, I can do nothing but obey. Obedience. That is what it came down to. How much of God's commands to me am I willing to obey?


"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Matt.28:19,20


This passage stood out to me after I was able to take part in a recent conference called "Breakthrough", where 14 local churches gathered together to pray for a breakthrough in our joint county of Walworth. One pastor explained that the lack of obedience to all the commands of God is what is causing such great confusion in the Body of Christ. God used this to confirm to me what He had already spoken to me about obedience. I have been reading and studying the book of John, and lately, chapter 5. Jesus spoke a lot about how much He was in submission to His Father, and how He could do nothing apart from what His Father gave Him a command to do.


"Jesus gave them this answer: "I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does." "By myself I can do nothing; I judge only as I hear, and my judgment is just, for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me."
John 5:19,30


I realized this truth yesterday, as I was working in the camp office, and getting really frustrated with my own ignorance, my lack of access to help. Over and over, I realize, I tried to help myself; tried to figure things out in my own strength. I was asking for God's help, yes, but only as I kept trying myself. It was only after a while, that I stopped...and realized that I had not once paused and quieted myself before God, and asked for Him to take control. I had been saying, "Lord, help me", not , "Lord, be in charge". Without Him, I cannot be anything-I am nothing. It was a simple mistake, but one I am guilty of making often I think. It is better to wait, to take time to be still, and know that HE is God.
One song says,
'It is better to wait on the Lord God Almighty, than to lean on what you understand...'
So, I have decided to lean...in the direction of His understanding; trusting in His control, and not my own.

Currently, I am a little busier than normal with duties at the camp here. My boss' wife had surgery recently, and will be out of work for a few weeks at least, so my job has become more full time as of this weekend. I am grateful that it is not a busy weekend, so I can take over slowly. God knows what I can handle. He is with me. I am thankful that He can be trusted.

in the quiet times

when can you hear the rain gently light upon the leaves of the trees as it makes it's way to the awaiting earth? at what time does the ticking of a clock sound strangely loud to you? what does it take to catch the tones of the beating of a dear heart?
It is interesting to note that may beautiful things in life cannot be heard or enjoyed in the presence of much commotion or noise.
I have experienced a lot of quiet today as I have spent much time in bed, resting, because of a bad cold. I have a very full week approaching, and one that will no doubt be full of commotion and noise. I am grateful for this day I have had to rest. I think God knew I needed to just 'sit down', figuratively speaking, and let go of everything I have been trying to balance. This week, I am going to be preparing a wedding cake for my little sister's wedding. Much of the technique I will be using to make a specific frosting is something very new to me. I have offered to step out on a limb and try something new. I guess I have been a little concerned about how it will all turn out. I think God is telling me I need to just rest and trust Him, which is true in all of life. Why is it that sometimes I feel I can do certain things on my own, but other areas definitely require God's help? In everything I should recognize the need for my Father.


As far as any recent news regarding the mission field, I can honestly say that I have heard nothing from the OM office, and am in a place of continuing to wait on the Lord to open the right doors, and the ones that will be effectual in drawing others to Him. I want His will. I also don't want to be sitting back waiting for something to just appear. For this I ask for prayer. I want to go ahead as if I have already heard that I am going back to Moldova this fall. But, I feel a bit afraid. Maybe I am not trusting the Lord to the extent that I should. I know I struggle in this area. It is a growing process. He teaches me as I walk with Him. I guess the important thing is that I keep walking with Him and not ahead of Him, or behind Him. I don't want to get so exuberant over what He is planning to do in the future that I run ahead of His will.
It is in the quiet places that He speaks, and in the stillness as we wait before Him, that we are able to hear His voice. He will not fail to make His will known. He loves us- Oh how He loves us!
Yes, there are many decisions before me right now. I cannot even speak of them all. Some are personal, some are just between the Lord and I. But, all are before Him, and all of them He is concerned about. And not just that, but all of them, He has an answer for.

God is jealous over me. He wants all of my heart, all of my affection. I recently came across the following song. Although it is one from years back, it is the cry of my heart. I want to be willing to say to the Lord that I lay down all of myself, all of my ambition, all that I have gained on this earth, and should He choose somehow to use my laid-down life, then here it is: it all belongs to Him anyway.

I Surrender All
David Moffit and Reggie Hamm
I have wrestled in the darkness of this lonely pilgrim land
Raising strong and mighty fortresses that I alone command
But these castles I've constructed by the strength of my own hand
Are just temporary kingdoms on foundations made of sand
In the middle of the battle I believe I've finally found
I'll never know the thrill of victory 'til I'm willing to lay down
All my weapons of defense and earthly strategies of war
So I'm laying down my arms and running helplessly to Yours

Chorus:
I surrender all my silent hopes and dreams
Though the price to follow costs me everything
I surrender all my human soul desires
If sacrifice requires
That all my kingdoms fall
I surrender all

If the source of my ambition is the treasure I obtain
If I measure my successes on a scale of earthly gain
If the focus of my vision is the status I attain
My accomplishments are worthless and my efforts are in vain
So I lay aside these trophies to pursue a higher crown
And should You choose somehow to use the life I willingly lay down
I surrender all the triumph for it's only by Your grace
I relinquish all the glory, I surrender all the praise

Bridge:
Everything I am, all I've done, and all I've known
Now belongs to You, the life I live is not my own
Just as Abraham laid Isaac on the sacrificial fire
If all I have is all that You desire
I surrender all
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what is our life? what is so special about man that the God of the universe should take notice of us? we are as grass, that grows today, and tomorrow is cut down. Our life is as as a puff of smoke. who will remember it? What does it profit to try to gain success in this world? Why not gain for the world to come for Jesus Christ? Today I heard again the story of a faithful couple who became martyrs for Christ, after inwardly resolving to lay down their lives for the sake of Christ, and surrendering their lives to Him for His service. Two short years after their marriage, they were brutally killed for standing for their Lord. Their lives are a living testimony still, of commitment to the best Cause one could ever die for-the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Why not live this life for today, as if it were your last, because we are not promised tomorrow!

'Only one life will soon be past; only what's done for Christ will last'