it is better to wait; better to trust; better to lean...on the Lord

wow..its been so long
since I've been here-
sorry about that.


I have much to tell. God has been working, though much of it remains to be seen on my part.
Let me begin by saying that the process of my application for returning to Moldova has been a longer procedure than I imagined. This coming Monday, I have scheduled a time to have a phone interview with OM, which is the next step. I don't know what will follow after that, but I am praying that things are able to move along a little faster after this.

Recent events in my life have included my little sister getting married-now a week ago, already! My part was making her wedding cake, which took about 4 days, but turned out splendidly, if I can say so. I would love to copy the idea for a future cake. I really saw God's strength and help right beside me as I put it all together. I don't recall any complications once I began baking and decorating! This is really uncommon for cakes, and you know what I mean if you have done something similar. There is always some kind of quirk. I was also getting over a bad cold as I was getting ready to make these cakes. (Don't worry, I was really careful about my germs!) The Lord really was with me. My sister Katie was a big help in transporting and assembling them at the reception as well.

Over all, the wedding was a huge success, when in the days previous, it seemed that there were a lot of loose ends. On top of it all, the best man-best friend to my brother in law-ended up giving his heart to Christ the day after the wedding! Many of my mom's family were able to make it in town from Missouri-it was really special to see them, especially my grandma, who may not be able to make this trip anymore, as a result of her failing health.

On a more serious note, I want to explain how I have been tested lately. I have had a short season where I began to lose sight of what God had called me to in Moldova. I struggled with the question of maybe I was not suppose to go back. Some personal issues have, of late, created a weakening of the desire to leave the country soon. I have prayed, and asked counsel of Godly friends and family, and after a few days of struggle, I realized that I should not be the one trying to change God's mind.


"I know, O LORD, that the way of man is not in himself, that it is not in man who walks to direct his steps"
Jer.10:23


If God wants to lead me in a different direction than how I believe He has spoken clearly to me, then He certainly has the right to do that..but it is up to Him. My heart wants to do His will, that's why there was such a struggle. I was stuck in the middle of what I wanted and what He wanted. I chose to plunge into His will. I decided to run head-long into what I felt He originally spoke to me. If my head gets stuck where He didn't intend, then He sure can pull me out. But, until I hear otherwise from Him, I can do nothing but obey. Obedience. That is what it came down to. How much of God's commands to me am I willing to obey?


"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Matt.28:19,20


This passage stood out to me after I was able to take part in a recent conference called "Breakthrough", where 14 local churches gathered together to pray for a breakthrough in our joint county of Walworth. One pastor explained that the lack of obedience to all the commands of God is what is causing such great confusion in the Body of Christ. God used this to confirm to me what He had already spoken to me about obedience. I have been reading and studying the book of John, and lately, chapter 5. Jesus spoke a lot about how much He was in submission to His Father, and how He could do nothing apart from what His Father gave Him a command to do.


"Jesus gave them this answer: "I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does." "By myself I can do nothing; I judge only as I hear, and my judgment is just, for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me."
John 5:19,30


I realized this truth yesterday, as I was working in the camp office, and getting really frustrated with my own ignorance, my lack of access to help. Over and over, I realize, I tried to help myself; tried to figure things out in my own strength. I was asking for God's help, yes, but only as I kept trying myself. It was only after a while, that I stopped...and realized that I had not once paused and quieted myself before God, and asked for Him to take control. I had been saying, "Lord, help me", not , "Lord, be in charge". Without Him, I cannot be anything-I am nothing. It was a simple mistake, but one I am guilty of making often I think. It is better to wait, to take time to be still, and know that HE is God.
One song says,
'It is better to wait on the Lord God Almighty, than to lean on what you understand...'
So, I have decided to lean...in the direction of His understanding; trusting in His control, and not my own.

Currently, I am a little busier than normal with duties at the camp here. My boss' wife had surgery recently, and will be out of work for a few weeks at least, so my job has become more full time as of this weekend. I am grateful that it is not a busy weekend, so I can take over slowly. God knows what I can handle. He is with me. I am thankful that He can be trusted.