in the quiet times

when can you hear the rain gently light upon the leaves of the trees as it makes it's way to the awaiting earth? at what time does the ticking of a clock sound strangely loud to you? what does it take to catch the tones of the beating of a dear heart?
It is interesting to note that may beautiful things in life cannot be heard or enjoyed in the presence of much commotion or noise.
I have experienced a lot of quiet today as I have spent much time in bed, resting, because of a bad cold. I have a very full week approaching, and one that will no doubt be full of commotion and noise. I am grateful for this day I have had to rest. I think God knew I needed to just 'sit down', figuratively speaking, and let go of everything I have been trying to balance. This week, I am going to be preparing a wedding cake for my little sister's wedding. Much of the technique I will be using to make a specific frosting is something very new to me. I have offered to step out on a limb and try something new. I guess I have been a little concerned about how it will all turn out. I think God is telling me I need to just rest and trust Him, which is true in all of life. Why is it that sometimes I feel I can do certain things on my own, but other areas definitely require God's help? In everything I should recognize the need for my Father.


As far as any recent news regarding the mission field, I can honestly say that I have heard nothing from the OM office, and am in a place of continuing to wait on the Lord to open the right doors, and the ones that will be effectual in drawing others to Him. I want His will. I also don't want to be sitting back waiting for something to just appear. For this I ask for prayer. I want to go ahead as if I have already heard that I am going back to Moldova this fall. But, I feel a bit afraid. Maybe I am not trusting the Lord to the extent that I should. I know I struggle in this area. It is a growing process. He teaches me as I walk with Him. I guess the important thing is that I keep walking with Him and not ahead of Him, or behind Him. I don't want to get so exuberant over what He is planning to do in the future that I run ahead of His will.
It is in the quiet places that He speaks, and in the stillness as we wait before Him, that we are able to hear His voice. He will not fail to make His will known. He loves us- Oh how He loves us!
Yes, there are many decisions before me right now. I cannot even speak of them all. Some are personal, some are just between the Lord and I. But, all are before Him, and all of them He is concerned about. And not just that, but all of them, He has an answer for.

God is jealous over me. He wants all of my heart, all of my affection. I recently came across the following song. Although it is one from years back, it is the cry of my heart. I want to be willing to say to the Lord that I lay down all of myself, all of my ambition, all that I have gained on this earth, and should He choose somehow to use my laid-down life, then here it is: it all belongs to Him anyway.

I Surrender All
David Moffit and Reggie Hamm
I have wrestled in the darkness of this lonely pilgrim land
Raising strong and mighty fortresses that I alone command
But these castles I've constructed by the strength of my own hand
Are just temporary kingdoms on foundations made of sand
In the middle of the battle I believe I've finally found
I'll never know the thrill of victory 'til I'm willing to lay down
All my weapons of defense and earthly strategies of war
So I'm laying down my arms and running helplessly to Yours

Chorus:
I surrender all my silent hopes and dreams
Though the price to follow costs me everything
I surrender all my human soul desires
If sacrifice requires
That all my kingdoms fall
I surrender all

If the source of my ambition is the treasure I obtain
If I measure my successes on a scale of earthly gain
If the focus of my vision is the status I attain
My accomplishments are worthless and my efforts are in vain
So I lay aside these trophies to pursue a higher crown
And should You choose somehow to use the life I willingly lay down
I surrender all the triumph for it's only by Your grace
I relinquish all the glory, I surrender all the praise

Bridge:
Everything I am, all I've done, and all I've known
Now belongs to You, the life I live is not my own
Just as Abraham laid Isaac on the sacrificial fire
If all I have is all that You desire
I surrender all
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what is our life? what is so special about man that the God of the universe should take notice of us? we are as grass, that grows today, and tomorrow is cut down. Our life is as as a puff of smoke. who will remember it? What does it profit to try to gain success in this world? Why not gain for the world to come for Jesus Christ? Today I heard again the story of a faithful couple who became martyrs for Christ, after inwardly resolving to lay down their lives for the sake of Christ, and surrendering their lives to Him for His service. Two short years after their marriage, they were brutally killed for standing for their Lord. Their lives are a living testimony still, of commitment to the best Cause one could ever die for-the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Why not live this life for today, as if it were your last, because we are not promised tomorrow!

'Only one life will soon be past; only what's done for Christ will last'