Things I am thankful for lately are many:
1. A king size bed - compliments of two twin size hospital beds side by side. Granted, we are still working on how to keep them together so I don't fall in the crack... :) We are so happy to be able to easily sit Michail up with no injury to me, and with two beds, we can both sit up together now and have movie nights!
2. Good health - yes, remember I had cancer last year? At times I can almost forget. I don't ever want to forget. The Lord has done so much for me to bring me to this point. I know God has healed me. Does that mean that I never fear that cancer may one day come back? Of course not! Sometimes I really struggle. I have a hard time taking so many vitamins and eating differently from everyone else, even if I am fully convinced that it is the best way to take care of my body. I want to just be "normal"...but what is that anyway? And yes, I sometimes really feel sad when I look at my husband who cheerfully lives life in a wheelchair, daily having to work hard to do simple tasks that would be of no consequece to a fully able-bodied man. How can I complain about life not being "normal" for me? We pray and we trust God that one day Michail will walk again, confident that God will do as He has promised. But, can we just sit down and wait until that happens and do nothing? I am so proud of my husband's ability to reach out to others in the midst of his disability. He doesn't blame God for a fault of his own that caused his accident 13 years ago. I am blessed to see how much goodness has come through his pain. Yes, I would love to see my husband up and walking and doing everything that he wants to do, but just can't. Some days it's overwhelming. Most people can't and won't understand what it's like to have a body that doesn't function properly, while at the same time having so much life and passion wanting to get out. I am still learning and growing in my understanding of Michial's needs and desires. I am happy to be able to share in his life, his joys and sorrows, his laughter and pain. Now "we" carry the load.
3. A couple wedding gifts that just arrived! Thanks to Dad and Mom we now have a new juicer and blender - two very important items in my kitchen. For months I have been labouring with a 15+ year old juicer that took me 2 hours to make two cups of juice. I can't believe how fast this one works now! Thanks to our neighbor, we had some access to a borrowed blender for some months!
4. My new friends and family at our Messianic Synagogue. I am so enjoying getting to know my new family here, and also learning and growing in my faith, as I dig into the study of the ancient Hebraic roots of my faith. I feel I have so much to learn! Michail and I are also taking a beginner's Hebrew language class which is hosted by us at our home. It's so exciting to discover, and never before have I wanted to learn so much! Please pray for me as I finish up with my immigration paperwork for becoming a permanent resident in Canada. I just found out I have a bit more left to do than I thought. Well, today is a new day, and I still sit here in my pj's and good old Mt Zion hoodie. I am off in an hour to help my in-laws with their move to a temporary house while they look for a new one. Michail will be missing me all day, and I have to admit that I will too. Yes, we are newly-weds, but I hope that it just stays this way forever. I love you Michail with all my heart!
Melanie, I think it's beautiful to see you opening up on here. As you know, I am always here for you, as you navigate this journey. I am not that far ahead of you, but I was just where you are not that long ago at all! I know what it's like. Perspective can be great, but it can also be tough. Call or email if you need a sista!
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