the latest and the greatest from the homefront...

Hello everyone. It is really me. I am still alive! There is so much to share right now, that I am unsure of how to begin, but I know I must, or I will continue to leave you hanging longer.

About four weeks ago, I made a decision that changed things in my preparations for the mission field. I realized that after striving so hard to accomplish so many things all at once, that I had to give up. Give up? I can hear some of you saying, "No! Never give up! We don't quit, remember?". I well remember this from Moldova. My team and I were fighters, and were not willing to let anything stop the work that God intended to do in our lives to touch other lives.


Let me explain how I gave up. I was striving hard to juggle a bunch of things all at once, that I think God did not want me to bear alone. First, upon returning home from Moldova, I was immediately thrust into the busyness of life, and though I was given time to recuperate, the culture change was very drastic, and getting use to a fast pace world again, that for some reason was even faster than normal, after being accustomed to a laid back, slow moving culture, was not easy at all. but I had no choice. I was needed at my place of work. Shortly after returning home, I found out that my boss' wife needed to have major surgery. We were all glad that the surgery did not have to take place until to a later date, so I had some time to get accustomed to the campground routine again, and somewhat gain footing for what was coming, as well as give her time to prepare herself.
The surgery was successful on June 18th.


Since her surgery, my boss' wife has been on medical leave for the past 4 weeks, unable to assist me in the office. It the middle of this recovery we were hit with a big holiday weekend, July 4. By the grace of God we made it through that weekend, considering the multitude of issues that surfaced with campers. Along with this, I began to not feel well, which, after seeing a doctor, resulted in a stomach problem because I had been stressing myself too much. It was not just work alone was causing stress in my life, but other very important decisions I have been faced with, which is to follow in detail.

All this time, I have also been balancing another very important decision in life, which you know about if you have been following this blog. I have been preparing to return to Moldova for 2 years. When I returned from Moldova in April of this year, I was willing to take up the challenge to get ready to return there in 4 short months. I was ready to trust God to provide for a trip in a small window of time, because I knew He was able to come through for me. I still believe in His ability to do that. But, I believe He also spoke to me that I needed to be wise in my preparations as well. I was allowing the stress of too many things to take its toll on my physical body, which was not a good start to preparing for overseas travel.
So, after prayer, and counsel with leadership in the organization I am affiliated with, I made a decision to postpone my August trip to January. This will give me more time to raise support, and spend time with my family, and overall, just time to settle things here in a timely manner before leaving.


As I posted a couple entries ago, I have been accepted for this trip, so I can begin to receive support for my trip. There is a lot involved, but I know that as God has called me, He will equip me. Pretty soon I will post more concrete details regarding my trip, and if anyone is interested in receiving a prayer letter from me, with more details, please send me your home address one of several ways:

>Email : mella_phillips@yahoo.com
>Facebook: melanie phillips
>this blog: mellasmessages.blogspot.com
>Snail mail: N5146 North Rd/Burlington, WI/53105 USA


And, last but ccertainly not least, I have to mention with a smile, something else very new and exciting that is going on in my life of late. In the midst of the hubbub of the above mentioned things going on in my life, a certain special Russian man slipped into my life, and has found a place in my heart. It is a unique story we share, and in spite of how technology can really stink at times, I am so blessed by the way that God has used it in my life for the past 2 months to unite me with such a wonderful man of God.
Michail Bantseev came into my life somewhat unexpectedly this spring. I have been corresponding with the Bantseev family in Siberia for 5 years, since I had showed interest at one point in going to Siberia for ministry with his brother's family. Though not completely unknown to me, all these years, Michail was the one helping them out by sending prayer letters and updates out to friends and family. I was a recipient of those mailings. I also became a part of his ministry(quadonamission.com) mailing list at some point over those years. In spite of the fact that we had some sort of connection, our paths never crossed, personally, until this May, when we became friends on Facebook, and shortly after, on Skype. Our relationship has taken wings! It's awesome to see what God has been doing, and how we have been living almost side by side in two different countries, complete strangers, but destined for something much bigger, when God saw fit to bring us together.
Michail is originally from Siberia, but has lived most of his life in Canada, where his family immigrated from Siberia about 22 years ago.
About a week ago, Michail made the long journey from London, ON to come to Wisconsin to meet me-our first face to face encounter, aside from over Skype! It was awesome! God answered a lot of his questions, and calmed a lot of fears in both of our hearts. We have made a decision in our hearts that we are going to follow what God is doing in our relationship. We are now "seeing each other" also known as courting -as much as you can between Canada and Wisconsin - with serious intentions. :) We are so blessed by the Lord's hand in our lives, and are excited about the future.

What does this mean in regards to my trip to Moldova, you may ask? Well, if you recall in past blog posts, I have mentioned struggles with knowing if I am to return to Moldova. This was the root issue. I have since then stepped out in faith, and chosen to trust God, and follow him to Moldova. But Michail is over here! Yes, he is, and it will be a challenge to be so far away, but there is nothing too hard for God. Will it put our relationship to the test? Absolutely. Is God big enough to handle that for us? Definitely. My Savior-He can move the mountains. He can make possible what seems IM-possible. He is God. There is no other like Him. I call His name Jesus. He is all that I need. He is more than enough for me. He will sustain me, us. He will uphold us, and keep us. There is nothing like the test of time to set in stone the plan of God!

I greatly covet your prayers right now. I am experiencing a lot of testing and proving, and I am attempting to learn what it all means to get ready to leave my own country for a long time. It is hard, to be blatantly honest. Part of me doesn't want to go. But, I know that God has called me. I know He will lead me and direct me, and even renew the passion I once had. Please stand behind me. I need strong arms to support me, and keep me going. I would love to hear from those that are willing to hold me up in prayer. We all need a bit of encouragement sometimes.
Thank you for how you have allowed Christ to minister to me through your life. I look forward to hearing from you!

im serious....

alright folks, I really AM going to be updating soon...just as soon as everything that's been flying around like crazy calms down. It's beginning to. I am thankful that in the midst of everything that's been really busy, the Lord Himself my peace. I guess I just have not learned well enough yet how to trust in His strength. I just keep thinking mine is going to hold me. nope. not one bit. I need to trust Him fully. without restraint. without holding on to anything else. without imagining my own way to "fix" a problem.
this is something I have been pondering lately...where is your treasure? the word of God says, "where your treasure is, there your heart will also be". If your heart is where your treasure is, then that means that where your treasure and your heart are, there is the rest of you also. Just like your body surrounds your heart, so whatever/whoever we are treasuring, or holding dear, is surrounded by all of our focus, all of our attention, all of our passion. we can't get away from it. so, where IS my treasure? where IS my focus? where is my heart?

update coming up

hey guys! I just wanted to send a quick note before the long, detailed one.

I found out today that I have been accepted by OM USA, as well as OM Moldova, to go to Moldova, and join their forces.

For more information regarding OM see www.omusa.org

For more information about my personal trip, stay tuned...I'm going to update soon.

it is better to wait; better to trust; better to lean...on the Lord

wow..its been so long
since I've been here-
sorry about that.


I have much to tell. God has been working, though much of it remains to be seen on my part.
Let me begin by saying that the process of my application for returning to Moldova has been a longer procedure than I imagined. This coming Monday, I have scheduled a time to have a phone interview with OM, which is the next step. I don't know what will follow after that, but I am praying that things are able to move along a little faster after this.

Recent events in my life have included my little sister getting married-now a week ago, already! My part was making her wedding cake, which took about 4 days, but turned out splendidly, if I can say so. I would love to copy the idea for a future cake. I really saw God's strength and help right beside me as I put it all together. I don't recall any complications once I began baking and decorating! This is really uncommon for cakes, and you know what I mean if you have done something similar. There is always some kind of quirk. I was also getting over a bad cold as I was getting ready to make these cakes. (Don't worry, I was really careful about my germs!) The Lord really was with me. My sister Katie was a big help in transporting and assembling them at the reception as well.

Over all, the wedding was a huge success, when in the days previous, it seemed that there were a lot of loose ends. On top of it all, the best man-best friend to my brother in law-ended up giving his heart to Christ the day after the wedding! Many of my mom's family were able to make it in town from Missouri-it was really special to see them, especially my grandma, who may not be able to make this trip anymore, as a result of her failing health.

On a more serious note, I want to explain how I have been tested lately. I have had a short season where I began to lose sight of what God had called me to in Moldova. I struggled with the question of maybe I was not suppose to go back. Some personal issues have, of late, created a weakening of the desire to leave the country soon. I have prayed, and asked counsel of Godly friends and family, and after a few days of struggle, I realized that I should not be the one trying to change God's mind.


"I know, O LORD, that the way of man is not in himself, that it is not in man who walks to direct his steps"
Jer.10:23


If God wants to lead me in a different direction than how I believe He has spoken clearly to me, then He certainly has the right to do that..but it is up to Him. My heart wants to do His will, that's why there was such a struggle. I was stuck in the middle of what I wanted and what He wanted. I chose to plunge into His will. I decided to run head-long into what I felt He originally spoke to me. If my head gets stuck where He didn't intend, then He sure can pull me out. But, until I hear otherwise from Him, I can do nothing but obey. Obedience. That is what it came down to. How much of God's commands to me am I willing to obey?


"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Matt.28:19,20


This passage stood out to me after I was able to take part in a recent conference called "Breakthrough", where 14 local churches gathered together to pray for a breakthrough in our joint county of Walworth. One pastor explained that the lack of obedience to all the commands of God is what is causing such great confusion in the Body of Christ. God used this to confirm to me what He had already spoken to me about obedience. I have been reading and studying the book of John, and lately, chapter 5. Jesus spoke a lot about how much He was in submission to His Father, and how He could do nothing apart from what His Father gave Him a command to do.


"Jesus gave them this answer: "I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does." "By myself I can do nothing; I judge only as I hear, and my judgment is just, for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me."
John 5:19,30


I realized this truth yesterday, as I was working in the camp office, and getting really frustrated with my own ignorance, my lack of access to help. Over and over, I realize, I tried to help myself; tried to figure things out in my own strength. I was asking for God's help, yes, but only as I kept trying myself. It was only after a while, that I stopped...and realized that I had not once paused and quieted myself before God, and asked for Him to take control. I had been saying, "Lord, help me", not , "Lord, be in charge". Without Him, I cannot be anything-I am nothing. It was a simple mistake, but one I am guilty of making often I think. It is better to wait, to take time to be still, and know that HE is God.
One song says,
'It is better to wait on the Lord God Almighty, than to lean on what you understand...'
So, I have decided to lean...in the direction of His understanding; trusting in His control, and not my own.

Currently, I am a little busier than normal with duties at the camp here. My boss' wife had surgery recently, and will be out of work for a few weeks at least, so my job has become more full time as of this weekend. I am grateful that it is not a busy weekend, so I can take over slowly. God knows what I can handle. He is with me. I am thankful that He can be trusted.

in the quiet times

when can you hear the rain gently light upon the leaves of the trees as it makes it's way to the awaiting earth? at what time does the ticking of a clock sound strangely loud to you? what does it take to catch the tones of the beating of a dear heart?
It is interesting to note that may beautiful things in life cannot be heard or enjoyed in the presence of much commotion or noise.
I have experienced a lot of quiet today as I have spent much time in bed, resting, because of a bad cold. I have a very full week approaching, and one that will no doubt be full of commotion and noise. I am grateful for this day I have had to rest. I think God knew I needed to just 'sit down', figuratively speaking, and let go of everything I have been trying to balance. This week, I am going to be preparing a wedding cake for my little sister's wedding. Much of the technique I will be using to make a specific frosting is something very new to me. I have offered to step out on a limb and try something new. I guess I have been a little concerned about how it will all turn out. I think God is telling me I need to just rest and trust Him, which is true in all of life. Why is it that sometimes I feel I can do certain things on my own, but other areas definitely require God's help? In everything I should recognize the need for my Father.


As far as any recent news regarding the mission field, I can honestly say that I have heard nothing from the OM office, and am in a place of continuing to wait on the Lord to open the right doors, and the ones that will be effectual in drawing others to Him. I want His will. I also don't want to be sitting back waiting for something to just appear. For this I ask for prayer. I want to go ahead as if I have already heard that I am going back to Moldova this fall. But, I feel a bit afraid. Maybe I am not trusting the Lord to the extent that I should. I know I struggle in this area. It is a growing process. He teaches me as I walk with Him. I guess the important thing is that I keep walking with Him and not ahead of Him, or behind Him. I don't want to get so exuberant over what He is planning to do in the future that I run ahead of His will.
It is in the quiet places that He speaks, and in the stillness as we wait before Him, that we are able to hear His voice. He will not fail to make His will known. He loves us- Oh how He loves us!
Yes, there are many decisions before me right now. I cannot even speak of them all. Some are personal, some are just between the Lord and I. But, all are before Him, and all of them He is concerned about. And not just that, but all of them, He has an answer for.

God is jealous over me. He wants all of my heart, all of my affection. I recently came across the following song. Although it is one from years back, it is the cry of my heart. I want to be willing to say to the Lord that I lay down all of myself, all of my ambition, all that I have gained on this earth, and should He choose somehow to use my laid-down life, then here it is: it all belongs to Him anyway.

I Surrender All
David Moffit and Reggie Hamm
I have wrestled in the darkness of this lonely pilgrim land
Raising strong and mighty fortresses that I alone command
But these castles I've constructed by the strength of my own hand
Are just temporary kingdoms on foundations made of sand
In the middle of the battle I believe I've finally found
I'll never know the thrill of victory 'til I'm willing to lay down
All my weapons of defense and earthly strategies of war
So I'm laying down my arms and running helplessly to Yours

Chorus:
I surrender all my silent hopes and dreams
Though the price to follow costs me everything
I surrender all my human soul desires
If sacrifice requires
That all my kingdoms fall
I surrender all

If the source of my ambition is the treasure I obtain
If I measure my successes on a scale of earthly gain
If the focus of my vision is the status I attain
My accomplishments are worthless and my efforts are in vain
So I lay aside these trophies to pursue a higher crown
And should You choose somehow to use the life I willingly lay down
I surrender all the triumph for it's only by Your grace
I relinquish all the glory, I surrender all the praise

Bridge:
Everything I am, all I've done, and all I've known
Now belongs to You, the life I live is not my own
Just as Abraham laid Isaac on the sacrificial fire
If all I have is all that You desire
I surrender all
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

what is our life? what is so special about man that the God of the universe should take notice of us? we are as grass, that grows today, and tomorrow is cut down. Our life is as as a puff of smoke. who will remember it? What does it profit to try to gain success in this world? Why not gain for the world to come for Jesus Christ? Today I heard again the story of a faithful couple who became martyrs for Christ, after inwardly resolving to lay down their lives for the sake of Christ, and surrendering their lives to Him for His service. Two short years after their marriage, they were brutally killed for standing for their Lord. Their lives are a living testimony still, of commitment to the best Cause one could ever die for-the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Why not live this life for today, as if it were your last, because we are not promised tomorrow!

'Only one life will soon be past; only what's done for Christ will last'

He's my mountain mover

it's pretty late, but i am still up, so I thought I would add a little update to these pages.

I went for my physical today, and returned with a clean bill of health. "You are healthy!", said my doctor. It was good to hear. I am one step closer in preparation for Moldova now. Next I have to send my physical results and other paperwork into the OM office and then I wait to hear from them about being accepted for the position of serving in Moldova.

I would appreciate your continued prayers for the sake of some other issues that have surfaced that I am having to trust God for: some personal things going on in my life presently that seem to be as big as a mountain in front of me, and I can't see what's on the other side cause the mountain is so large. I am beginning to see maybe why God gave me the verse in Luke 1, while still in Moldova, about there being nothing impossible with Him. He knew there would be some hard tests coming along for me this summer. I want to be willing to trust Him, no matter what it may require of me to do that. I know God is building character in my life through all these experiences, and I would not trade them for a life full of ease and comfort. He knows what He is making of me! I like the song lyrics that say, "He's not finished with me yet". I am a work in progress. But He knows exactly what I will look like in the end!

stretchability : how far are you ready to fly?

its good to be reminded of things sometimes. today a friend reminded me of a couple words that missionaries learn to relate to real fast.

1. patience

wait for an answer. wait for a phone call. wait for paperwork. wait for a response. wait for funds. wait for test results. wait for mail. wait for a car repair. wait for a good night's sleep. wait to see a seed planted to produce fruit. etc, etc, etc.

But what does patience produce? The ability to wait long on God and to bear fruit for His kingdom. Patience creates ears that are willing to listen to those who are hurting. It teaches you to be sensitive and compassionate. Jesus had compassion on the multitudes, and fed them, by giving of Himself when He was tired. Learning patience means you are given opportunities to be patient. We can't attain some virtue without seeing our lack of it, can we? So, when you see your lack of patience, and it frustrates you, but you come through the test triumphantly, be encouraged that you have just attained a new level of what you have been seeking after.

2. flexibility (a.k.a. stretchability)

Have you ever watched a child with a rubber band? Maybe you have had fun yourself with these strips of continuous stretchy stuff. Stretch, stretch.....let go! Rubber bands are quite worthless on their own. They can't get up and make anything of themselves. They are ugly, and pointless without the help of someone who can make use of them.
Think of their use: STRETCH around something to hold it together. But, have you ever seen a dried up band? It's not worth anything, and when it's stretched, it breaks. They stay useful when they are put to good use.


Ok. I do have a point here. I like to think of myself sometimes as a rubber band. I imagine God holding on to me, and thinking over a plan He has in His mind. Where will He send me? What will He use me for? (stretch) God remembers, and He smiles. He thinks on where He will send me(stretch), and what He will do with me(stretch). It is a perfect plan. It has been in His mind from the beginning.

He takes careful aim, stretching me possibly more than ever, and then lets go. Does he stand and watch how far I go, and where I land? I picture Him running underneath me as I sail through the air, over obstacles, across great heights, and when I land, He is there, to catch me when I come down, right in the perfect place He intended-again in His hands.

Do you ever think the rubber band is not willing to go where one wants to send it? Some bands are definitely not as stretchy. Some are resistant. That usually would cause me to choose another. I never want that to happen with me. I don't want God to pick me up with all His plans and intentions for my life, and find me resistant to His will, and have to choose another in my place.

So use me Lord for your purposes! Stretch me, mold me, shape me, prepare me. Set me in your hands, stretch me to the limit, and let me fly as far as You choose. I am willing to fall into Your hands in the place you have prepared for me, whether near or far. Whether a place of comfort, or a place that requires me to be stretched more permanently, to draw others together, or hold together those who are seeking to follow You.

I appreciate those who take the time to read these ramblings from my heart. I hope it encourages some, and sets you on your path to fly.....as far as your Maker has chosen for you. Don't limit Him! He has a perfect plan for you!