Learning to walk

This verse has inspired me this week.  I have been meditating on it for a few days since it popped out to me while reading.
Psalm 32:8
    "I will instruct and teach you in this way that you are to go; I will give you counsel; my eyes will be watching you."

What is this way that I am to go?   I believe that scripture interprets scripture.  "Followers of the Way" was the title given to early converts to Messianic Judaism in the book of Acts (22:4). 
"I persecuted to death the followers of this Way, arresting both men and women and throwing them in prison."  -Paul
These believers were Jews or former Gentiles who chose to place their trust in Yeshua as their Messiah (Savior, Anointed One). 

In my understanding ( I have so much more to learn!), I believe that this Way started in the beginning of the scriptures where Yahweh gave instruction (or the Torah) to His people Israel.  Written clearly in the Torah (the first five books of the scriptures) is the way that Yahweh would have His people to walk.  I have been learning so much lately how the Torah is a revelation or representation of God's character. 
"For I am Yahweh your God; therefore, consecrate yourselves and be holy, for I am holy..." Leviticus 11:44
When He says to be holy as I am holy, He has already shown His people how.  He gave instruction on how to dress, how to behave, how to grow crops, how to eat, how to be pure and holy before Him, etc. I feel like I am seeing with new eyes, and I am so excited to get to know the God of Avraham, Yitzak, and Ya'acov in a deeper, richer way than I have ever known. This God of Israel is the same God today as He was in the desert with the children of Israel. He does not change.  His ways do not change.  His commandments to His people, whether Jews or grafted-in former Gentiles, do not change.
"But because I, Yahweh, do not change, you sons of Ya'akov will not be destroyed. Malachi 3:6
 I am learning how full and rich my life can really be as I follow God in obedience, and walk in the example of Yeshua my Messiah. 


Michail and I are approaching our first year wedding anniversary on August 2, and I almost can't believe it! The time has really flown by, and we have had quite a year of learning and growing together.  I have learned so much about Michail and grown more accustomed to his needs and how to adjust to the many changes in life relating to being married to a dependent but very independent husband.  We have faced many challenges together this first year, including an operation for removing my wisdom teeth, putting together the necessary paperwork to begin the process of my immigration to Canada, facing financial hurdles (and learning to trust God more!), making big decisions together, and much more.
I cannot express how blessed we have been this year. God has over, above and beyond exceeded our expectations as we have traveled on this journey together so far.  Michail and I have learned the importance of keeping our relationship priority, and even above that, protecting our personal and mutual relationship with God.  We have come to experience in a greater way the need for more of God's Spirit in our lives. The Spirit is what empowers us to do God's will, and be obedient to Him.  Together we have sought God's face, and cried out on behalf of our families and many friends in need.  As we pray, we are drawn closer to God's heart, and we begin more and more to share His burdens, His desires. 

I am looking ahead with joy to all that our Father has in store for us, though at the same time with sobriety, as I know the days are evil.  I want to be on my guard and not to be found lacking when times get hard, as I know they will.  I want to be always ready to give an answer to those who ask me a reason for the hope that is in me.

sometimes I cry

Two nights ago was tough.

I was in the middle of preparing a late supper. I turned on my computer because Michail and Dominique were going to watch 'Robin Hood' while I was getting supper ready. Once online, I found a Skype message from a friend in Moldova.

She simply said, "Hi Mel, did you already hear the sad news?"

Immediately in my heart I knew what that meant, though I wanted to believe that it was some other sad news...I frantically searched facebook...and it didn't take long to confirm the sinking in my heart. My dear friend Dana had passed away after fighting leukemia for just under a year. She would have turned 28 on March 19.

At first I didn't know how to react. It was so hard to hear this. I am a former cancer fighter, and I believe that Yahweh has healed me. I no longer say that 'I have cancer'. I used to have cancer. I am healed and whole. But, last night when I heard this really hard news, I began to ask my Father, "why?". Why was my life preserved, and my friend's life taken from this earth? I had to come to the conclusion that God has yet a plan for my life, and apparently His plan for Dana was finished. I cried. I really cried. It could have been me! Dana was the same age as me.

I didn't cry so much for my loss, but for the loss of those dearest to her that she has left behind.

I rejoice that she is no longer in pain, and yet sorrow with Eugen her husband, her family, and so many friends and lives that she has touched. She touched mine in a special way.

I first met Dana in Moldova at the airport - the first friendly face that I met as she and another OM (Operation Mobilisation) team member waited to pick me up. Dana was so very friendly, and so helpful. This was my second time on Moldovan soil to join an OM team, and yet this time I came alone, anticipating 3 months without the presence of any other American teammates.

Over the course of the first day or so in Moldova, I met with Dana several times to make all the right connections. She and Eugen, her husband set me up with a cell phone I could use after I had joined a local ministry team in Rezina. She was so much fun to be around. I remember one evening when myself and several others were invited over to Dana and Eugen's house for supper and games afterward. We had so much fun. Dana really made me feel welcome in Moldova, and was an awesome translator!Far above the practical help, Dana became a true friend to me, and even after the 3 months had expired in Moldova, we continued stay in contact over facebook. She was such a sweet friend when I was facing cancer.

Cancer became a huge road block that kept me from returning to Moldova for a 2 year term as I had begun to plan for. If I recall correctly, Dana sent several messages to my parents telling of the Moldovan team praying for me. It meant so much.

Cancer is scary, and it seems to speak a death sentence over most. But, I have learned through what I faced, that God is bigger than cancer. I am also reminded that death has no victory over those who are in Messiah Yeshua, even if their body is taken from this earth!

"So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your sting? O grave, where is your victory? The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, which gives us the victory through Adonai Yeshua Ha Mashiach." 1 Corinthians 15:54-57

Dana Ciumac has gotten the victory! Blessed be the name of the Lord!

Dana was always smiling with a really big smile. I imagine how huge her smile was when she met her Savior face to face. What absolute joy she must be experiencing right now. Please remember Eugen, Dana's husband in prayer. I can't imagine what he is facing right now as half of himself is no longer by his side. May the Father grant him an extra measure of grace as he faces each day.

Remembering...continued

Yahweh has again remembered me. One week later, I heard from the lab that my AFP cancer marker in my blood was at an excellent place! If you want to compare, when the cancer was found in August 2010, my levels were at about 400. This time, the marker was at 5.0 - a very normal, healthy place! I am rejoicing again that I have life, and am cancer free, though it's hard when I hear about friends like this one who are continuing to face bad news when I am so healthy :


Dana has leukemia, and is in desperate need of a bone marrow transplant. Living in Eastern Europe is a challenge medically. They have no BM (Bone Marrow) Registry. Dana has been in remission, but it seems that the cancer has returned again. This is a message from Dana's husband, Eugen - "Today Dana wrote me(Eugen) an SMS with following verse: “Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again...”(Psalm 71:20). This happened after we found out the followings. In the last few days beside her knee pain, she started to have a headache, being dizzy and vomiting. Today we went to have a blood test, it turned out that her thrombocytes are really low, her leucocytes really high and a few blast cells again, it means that we lost the remission again."

Tomorrow early in the morning we will fly to Bucharest to be urgent hospitalized. It seems that we will start another chemotherapy and we have to look for an URGENT bone marrow donor.Would you please keep us in your prayers!

Pray for:

* a safe trip(especially with Dana’s health condition);
* God’s strength for Dana ;
* a donor to be found as fast as possible;
* us.

Thank you again for being close!

With love,
Eugen & Dana Ciumac

Remembering when....now 17 months cancer free!

Remembering is very important. Yahweh told the children of Israel numerous times in the scriptures...remember where you have come from..remember what I have done for you...

I don't want to forget what Yahweh has brought me through!

I saw my Oncologist on Friday of last week, and he once more gave me a clean bill of health, and wants me to not come in and see him for 6 months now! I am so excited about this! I also got some labwork done, which I will find out results from this coming week. I am so blessed by my Father's intervention in my life, and for giving me wisdom to choose the type of treatment that would best support my body that He has given me.

I am now 17 months past my operation that removed my 6.5 lb ovarian cancer tumor, and have not had any sign of setback - HalleluYah! I am healthy and strong, and want to always remember - Look what Yahweh has done! He has healed me!

A peek into my home

In my last entry I mentioned that we have a bigger bed. I cannot say how much of a blessing it is to both Michail and I. Many thanks to a sweet elderly couple who gave it to us for free!

Also, I mentioned that I have two new helping hands in the kitchen - my juicer and blender:

I am enjoying having children around the house. I have agreed to help out my sister in law with her two boys every day of the school week as they are in the process of looking for a home since their's sold. They are temporarily staying at a family member's house which is not nearby. So, to keep the kids in the same school for the rest of the year, I walk one nephew to the school bus in the mornings, and then he and his brother hang out at our house after school for a bit until their dad can pick them up after work. Here are some signs of kids being in our house:

Also, about 2 days a week, I will be watching a little neighbor boy while both parents are working - a favor that my sister in law is not able to manage anymore with moving out of the neighborhood.

I am so excited to have little voices in our home now! I love kids, and according to Yahweh's will and plan, I am expectant about having my own one day.

Oh, and here is Jackson, my nephew's frog that we are "frog-sitting" while they make their transition. He goes to his new home today :(

Michail has been helping me a lot lately with finishing up my paperwork for immigration to Canada. We have realized that time does not stand still like we would like. Yesterday I was digging through some old journals to find some dates from when I started working, and for periods of time. I always find so many interesting things in my journals. I came across some details about when I worked at a Holiday Inn, and the many people that I came in contact that with were hurting. I don't remember many of the stories of sharing Yeshua with them, of asking them their stories, of listening to them....so I am again very glad that I took the time to record those instances.

My stomach is telling me that food should be going in. See you all later. :)

Just my honest heart, part second

Things I am thankful for lately are many:

1. A king size bed - compliments of two twin size hospital beds side by side. Granted, we are still working on how to keep them together so I don't fall in the crack... :) We are so happy to be able to easily sit Michail up with no injury to me, and with two beds, we can both sit up together now and have movie nights!

2. Good health - yes, remember I had cancer last year? At times I can almost forget. I don't ever want to forget. The Lord has done so much for me to bring me to this point. I know God has healed me. Does that mean that I never fear that cancer may one day come back? Of course not! Sometimes I really struggle. I have a hard time taking so many vitamins and eating differently from everyone else, even if I am fully convinced that it is the best way to take care of my body. I want to just be "normal"...but what is that anyway? And yes, I sometimes really feel sad when I look at my husband who cheerfully lives life in a wheelchair, daily having to work hard to do simple tasks that would be of no consequece to a fully able-bodied man. How can I complain about life not being "normal" for me? We pray and we trust God that one day Michail will walk again, confident that God will do as He has promised. But, can we just sit down and wait until that happens and do nothing? I am so proud of my husband's ability to reach out to others in the midst of his disability. He doesn't blame God for a fault of his own that caused his accident 13 years ago. I am blessed to see how much goodness has come through his pain. Yes, I would love to see my husband up and walking and doing everything that he wants to do, but just can't. Some days it's overwhelming. Most people can't and won't understand what it's like to have a body that doesn't function properly, while at the same time having so much life and passion wanting to get out. I am still learning and growing in my understanding of Michial's needs and desires. I am happy to be able to share in his life, his joys and sorrows, his laughter and pain. Now "we" carry the load.

3. A couple wedding gifts that just arrived! Thanks to Dad and Mom we now have a new juicer and blender - two very important items in my kitchen. For months I have been labouring with a 15+ year old juicer that took me 2 hours to make two cups of juice. I can't believe how fast this one works now! Thanks to our neighbor, we had some access to a borrowed blender for some months!

4. My new friends and family at our Messianic Synagogue. I am so enjoying getting to know my new family here, and also learning and growing in my faith, as I dig into the study of the ancient Hebraic roots of my faith. I feel I have so much to learn! Michail and I are also taking a beginner's Hebrew language class which is hosted by us at our home. It's so exciting to discover, and never before have I wanted to learn so much! Please pray for me as I finish up with my immigration paperwork for becoming a permanent resident in Canada. I just found out I have a bit more left to do than I thought. Well, today is a new day, and I still sit here in my pj's and good old Mt Zion hoodie. I am off in an hour to help my in-laws with their move to a temporary house while they look for a new one. Michail will be missing me all day, and I have to admit that I will too. Yes, we are newly-weds, but I hope that it just stays this way forever. I love you Michail with all my heart!

Just my honest heart, part first

It's 10:00pm.

My husband Michail is still meeting with the members of the board of our Messianic-Jewish Synagogue. He is Chairman, so has lots of responsibility. I have been catching up with emails and uploading pictures on Facebook while I sit here and miss him, waiting for him to finish up.

Tonight we cancelled Michail's regular careworker for his evening routine. On nights we know it's going to be late, I take over. Sometimes that makes for a rather late night though, because we seem to feel that we can just stay up later since we don't have a schedule to keep...not that it's done on purpose or anything, but that's often how it works out.

Today I prepared to have a little 5 year old boy around the house by 8:30am - one of our neighbors - only to find out that he was staying home because his brother got sick, so one of their parents had to stay home from work. I was looking forward to having a little one around - oh well! He comes on Friday too.

Michail and I started our day off on a good foot by spending some time in the scriptures - we read some in the Psalms and also the book of Zephaniah, and prayed together. I love praying with my husband. It's something we started before we got married, and have continued it almost every morning when we wake up, sometimes before we get out of bed. There is so much life in communicating with our Father.

As we were finishing up, an alarm rang on our cell. This prompted Michail to awaken our house guest/friend in transit. B__ is a hurting man who came into our lives about 2 weeks ago. Years ago, B__ lived here with Michail. He has since then come into some trouble in his life, and needed a place to stay until he could get back on his feet. We agreed to share our home with him, and to pray for him that he would soon find a job, a place to stay, and more stability in his life. Personally, I have really struggled with having someone else invade our privacy. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but that is how I have felt. Sometimes people just rub you the wrong way...this is also what I have been experiencing. I have cried out to the Lord with tears regarding this - "God! How do I love this person like You would?" Michail and I have prayed that Father would bring hurting people into our lives, and He has answered that request.

One after another, people have come to our home - sometimes they are careworkers, often very hurting themselves. Other times they are fellow believers who have been wounded, sometimes by those closest to them in the body of Messiah. Among these have also been those new to the faith, who are learning what it means to be loved by a God who doesn't require them to clean themselves up before they are received.

Some are prideful in their hurt. They feel they are deserving of something. They close up their hurt with walls, and make those walls so inpenetrable, that it takes lots of longsuffering and gentleness to cause and inroad to be possible. Others are so broken, so oppressed, that their faces are distorted and shamed. They think nothing of themselves, ecxept how could they possibly be in a lower place than they are now? W__ is one of the latter. He is another friend whom Yahweh has allowed to stumble into our lives. He is oppressed. Yet a few nights ago, I think I saw a little bit of a spark for a moment. As we talked to him, he realized himself what must be at the root of his problems. He doubts that God loves him. It was so simple, yet for us, a small breakthrough.

I didn't understand when I felt God call me, even before marraige, to begin to reach out to hurting people that it would have this much of an effect on my own life - on our lives. God has stretched us. Father is teaching us to be very, very flexible. At any moment, someone may need help. Will we be ready, or must He call on someone else?

So we carry on, day after day, and we are so blessed. There is joy to be found in touching hearts and pointing them to the One who can heal them. I won't lie. It is not easy. Sometimes it can be very taxing. Just the other day, I was so proud of my husband. He was up all day in his wheelchair, and didn't have a break like he usually does midday. Instead of coming home and going to bed, he wanted to visit our brother W__. Everything seemed to be against us. Our cell phone kept dying as we tried to talk to him on the phone to ask if we could come over. He was reluctant to have us come. He feels he is a burden to us. Michail insisted, over and over. The phone died...zip..done. We were not far from home, so we stopped outside, and I ran in to get the cordless phone. Haha...no, it didn't want to work for us either. Eventually, we made a connection. On the way, we stopped at Timmy's drive-through, and picked up something for W__ to eat. We ended up visiting for over an hour, just encouraging him in the love of God, and to not give up. We were exhausted when we got home, but so glad we listened to the leading of the Spirit of God.

It's not always this way.

Sometimes I try to convince Michail that my way is better, and that "right now" is not the "best" time to run out and help someone because there is supper to make, and this and that to do right here.

I need to listen more.

I am so grateful for a sensitive husband. He listens to me so well. When I fall apart at my own shortcomings, and apologize up and down the wall...he just loves me. This is one characteristic that I knew I had to have in a husband: a listening ear. Sometimes it's super hard for me to say what I want to say at the right time. It just doesn't come out. I have to say though, that since I have decided to try more, and really talk more things out, rather than holding them in, I have not had as much trouble with explaining what is on my heart. Michail listens to the Lord's voice too. He is really sensitive to His leading, for which I am so grateful. I am learning more and more to trust his judgement, and know that he has heard from God before he makes a move.